Somebody done somebody wrong thong

Last week as I was writing “Number 4”, I got a call from my darling wife telling me she’d just gone to the doctor and they heard our baby’s strong heartbeat. The very thought of that made me smile and that smile stuck with me for several days, so I’ll just have to postpone #4 for a few more days.

In the meantime, I’m going to have to talk about another interesting event when Jenn and I went to the park this weekend.

Those that know us realize we live right next to Tower Grove Park, so it’s not particularly odd that on a beautiful fall day we would grab some poor boys (sandwiches, not street kids) from the best deli in St. Louis and headed out to have a little picnic. We have a quaint little lunch where—ironically enough—we talked about the writing of the blog.

After we ate, we went for a little stroll across a big open area to hang out by a stream and weeping willow tree. On the way back, we saw a big pile of poop.

Now, that’s not particularly odd since lots of people bring their pets to the park, but as we got closer, we saw that there was a black thong wrapped around said mud biscuits.

Does that strike you as odd as it does me? Personally I think “WTF?” is sizably overused, but sweet holy mother, if there was ever an appropriate time to use it, this would be that time.

What are the circumstances that start your day out where you think “today’s a good day for the black lacy panties” and ends with the thong in the middle of the park as a brownie topper?

And the thong to doody ratio was at odds too. I'm certianly no expert (nor do I play one on TV), but I don’t think that anyone able to fit in that tiny little thong was going to be able to produce that amount of brown matter in a single sitting. So does that mean it wasn’t hers? I had more questions then a X-Files episode. The more I thought about it, the more mind numbingly stupid the whole thing seemed—and yet, days later, it’s still bugging the hell out of me. I want answers damn it!

I really want to come up with something funny to say about it, but I can’t because the sheer idiocy of it makes my right eye twitch.