5 Things I’ve Learned in 2 Weeks of Fatherhood

I’m back at work after my two week hiatus to adjust to becoming a dad, so I thought I would share 5 random fatherhood things I’ve learned in my time away.

5: I doubt I’ll have any better idea how to relate to Noah then my parents did to me.

Times change. I recently stumbled upon a conversation that showed how little I know about what kids go through nowadays.

As I was pulling into my driveway the other day, a group of neighbor kids were playing in cul-de-sac, and had gathered together in a heated discussion.

“FINE!” one said, as he sped away on his bike, “If you’re going to be that way, I’m taking you off my buddy list!”

The girl he had directed the comment too reacted as if he had punched her in the chest. “You better not or I’m telling your mom!”

I wanted to go tell her to go hack his MySpace page. That’d show ‘em.

4: Fatherhood doesn’t bring maturity


Like responsible parents, Jenn and I got one of those baby monitors. Our Fisher Price model not only lets you hear the baby, but also give a series of lights to indicate the volume of your fussy infant. I’m sure I’m not the first guy that has pondered if he can belch loud enough to max out the light indicator like the “Test of Strength” at the county fair.

3: This boy owes me… big time

It occurred to me at two in the morning--when I was cleaning baby poop out of the wrinkles of his ball sack while he’s crying because he pee’d all over me, the wall, and in his own eye--that this boy owes me, big time.

2: “Gifted” is a big word

As I may have mentioned before, all of Noah’s cousins are pretty brilliant little kids. As such, my mother-in-law has become accustom to using the word “gifted” pretty liberally. When Noah was able to lift his head and watch people his first week home, she dubbed him gifted as well. I’m not sure he needs that kind of pressure to live up too. I mean honestly, what if it’s just retard strength?

1: Baby smiles mean nothing… kinda.

I’m done a bit of reading about how baby smiles mean nothing for the first few months. They aren’t a reflection of anything the baby is feeling. I get that, I truly do. With that being said, his smile means the whole world to me. When he looks at me wide-eyed with that perfect little smile, it’s a reflection of everything I feel for him.