For generations, the Copeland men have had a history of going bald early. Not once have I seen a picture of my grandfather with hair, the earliest image being in his early twenties. My father was doing the comb-over by my age. I remember a number of years ago when I said a little prayer that went a little something like this:
“Dear Lord, let me keep my hair. You and I both know you haven’t given me much, so be a peach just give me this one little thing.”
Apparently he questioned my sincerity and decided to turn that prayer into his own little punch-line. (Silly god and his abuse of the agnostic.) Over the last few years I’ve started growing hair in places that I just really don’t need extra hair.
Last year alone I harvested more ear hair then I will need out of my entire lifetime. I could make a patchwork quilt out of the yards of nose hair I have on a monthly basis. The woman that used to cut my hair once asked me how far down my neck she should trim.
Yeah god… really damn funny.
So I guess I shouldn’t have been overly surprised when my wife turned to me after my haircut the other day and said “Ok honey… now I know you won’t want to do this, but lets try and separate that eyebrow you have going on.”
Oy.
I truly thought that after I got married the days of a cute young blonde pouring hot wax on me were over.
From what I can tell, when you get your eyebrows waxed they aren’t supposed to take half your eyelid with it. But alas, she did. Jenn says that “it just got the tender part of your skin”, but everyone else wonders how I got the scar. So before they get the truth, they have to suffer through one of my bullshit machismo stories…
“Well, ya see… sometimes, when you’re usin’ a chainsaw, that chain’ll just snaps and whips back in your eye. Now luckily I was able reach up and catch that sum-bitch before it did too much damage…”
“I burned it on the tailpipe of my monster truck.”
“That shark jumped right on outta the ocean and tried to bite my eye. Luckily I punched it in the kidney before it got too good a hold.”
1 comment:
Even with the scar - you look better than you did with one eyebrow. The eyebrow hair and the ear hair were starting to connect into the hair train that continues down your neck. Seriously..you are way too hairy. I say we wax the ears next time too!
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